Crystal blue waters lap at my feet as I stand on the edge of where the ocean and the sand meet.
In this moment the waves are calm. They seem to be mirroring my mood. They are moving but they are gentle.
There is a slight breeze that brushes against my shoulders, reminding me of its presence and that is when I think of you and smile.
This smile holds the memories, of laughter and mistakes and I am content in knowing that I will hold on to those for a lifetime.
I like standing near the ocean on days like this one.
Days where I feel the need to be enveloped by life.
And so I gaze out over the wide expanse of blue, and think of how small I really am. It fills me with a sense of calmness.
In a world where control means everything, the ocean is proof that I cannot control that much strength. I can only choose to fight it or accept it.
I can choose and this comforts me because every person has the strength of the ocean within them.
It lies in the emotions we feel; the love that we hold. That is the essence of the ocean. It has a strength and energy that fills you to the brim.
If I have the power to choose what takes a hold of me than I want to be enveloped by love and compassion.
I want to be the ocean. Full of salt water that heals all wounds, gentle enough to smooth the pebbles that lay on the ocean floor and strong enough to carry a sailboat.
I dive head first into the water. The chill overcomes my senses and I emerge from the waves feeling empowered.
I have the ocean within me.
If I could channel the ocean then I could show you that you deserve to be loved, fully.
You deserve the love that is as deep and full as the ocean but as soft as the sand that meets its edge. You deserve all of the excitement of every fish in the sea and the changing tides.
You deserve the consistency of knowing that the ocean is always there, ready to help you float.
I drift onto my back, arms outstretched, like tentacles. I let the water beneath cradle my body as I close my eyes and float.
And that is when I realized…
You deserve the ocean and I do too.
I want to release the ocean from the bay of my heart, little by little so as not to overwhelm you.
I want you to not be standing on the edge of the ocean, toes hesitantly touching the shoreline. I want you to be encompassed in the waves, surrounded by the fish, and moving with the tides.
And maybe one day, when the time is right, our waters will meet.
And when the time is right I hope you are enveloped by the combination of our oceans and realize how small we really are because you have the ocean within and I do too.
We deserve the ocean and all that comes with it.